TREEWEEK TWO ended this morning. Around fifty people, who had spent the last seven days living, eating, working and partying together at Seegut Blaue Blume in Buchenhain near Prenzlau, said their goodbyes as a big bus shuttled them back to Berlin, creating the final class trip vibes! From there, some people stayed, whereas others took connecting trains or planes to get back to their homes. I myself am in a train back home as I’m writing these lines. I was at TREEWEEK the previous year and enjoyed it enough to motivate myself to buy another ticket and be back in the same location this year. And, again, I enjoyed it enough so that there’s a non-zero chance I will be back if there’s TREEWEEK THREE next year.

A recurring event in a recurring venue with partly recurring attendees, but also new faces, is a great mix of familiarity and novelty. For comparison, I went to Jesscamp 2 and Jesscamp 3 and both events had a greater variety in experiences compared to the two TREEWEEKs, because the different size and type of venue led to different outcomes in terms of overall structure. TREEWEEK TWO, at least for me, was mostly more of the same. I hosted werewolf games last year, and did so this year. I played piano on my own and jammed with other musicians last year, and did so this year. I attended a bunch of interesting but not too discomforting workshops last year, and did so this year.

Somehow I feel like I did more of everything last year. Until a minute ago I thought this might be related to the fact that the first TREEWEEK was a day longer, but my calendar just informed me that this isn’t true; it was the same duration overall, just shifted by a weekday. Maybe my brain is fooling me and expanding the experiences in memory. Or maybe it’s the time I spent on activities this year that I didn’t spend last year. For example, I had to sit longer with my work. Also, there were two organized walks to nearby places; a lovely lake in the forest, and a museum of old cars and former East Germany (GDR) memorabilia, which I took part in and enjoyed very much.

Another thing I did this year was going to Movement workshops facilitated by Kristijan and inspired by Fighting Monkey. He did them every day and I joined them three days in a row, making them feel like a new routine part of my day. I started a regular practice of strength training earlier this year and also intensified dancing, and since then I feel I’m much more interested in “physical” activities like this compared to earlier camps (and also more capable - even though I still suck and throwing and catching), which I’m interpreting as a sign of personal growth.

I had great group conversations at TREEWEEK, but felt like they could have had more depth. I didn’t have intense one-on-one conversations, which I somewhat regret. There’s all this talk about vulnerability and opening up to each other and I feel like I’m not doing it enough. And it’s not that I don’t want to or am afraid of being vulnerable; it’s mostly because I still have difficulties initiating this type of connection because I don’t want to impose myself on others or make myself the topic of conversation. Again, everyone should have agency, but I feel I wish others used their agency to push me to reveal more of myself. I want others to want to see me and express that desire so that I don’t have to express my desire to be seen, which feels kind of narcissist. Although, well, I’ve said it now, if not to people’s faces, at least in a blog post.

I told people not to come to camps and retreats with too many expectations of transformation so they aren’t disappointed, and I didn’t come with explicit intentions, but there’s still a lowkey feeling of wishing to get something extraordinary, even if you don’t know what that’s supposed to mean; especially when you feel others are getting it and you don’t.

On the second day of TREEWEEK, we had a big Circling event, hosted by Michael. I felt that the circle definitely helped people open up and connect with each other. We first circled in pairs, then groups of four, and then finally a larger group. A fascinating observation shared by one of the participants was that he feels that a man circling with another man versus a woman feels different, because with another man there are often status games and men trying to assert dominance. I’m not sure if this is a general phenomenon, but for me this was interesting because it was a confirmation for my self-assessment of not being typically masculine. I can definitely say for myself that, as long as I feel I’m accepted by the others - which I did feel - I’m generally uninterested in constructing any sort of status hierarchy among the men, whether in a circle or in the whole retreat, and finding my place in such a hierarchy.

As we’re already on the topic of gender: around 20-25% of TREEWEEK participants were women (if I counted correctly). The skewed gender ratio is, of course, no complaint to the organizers and simply a reflection of the communities whose members came to this retreat. It’s my impression that this wasn’t an issue for neither men nor women and didn’t create any problematic social dynamics, at least none that I observed (if I’m being too naive here - DMs are open …). I also think the event felt inclusive. Still, I must say I wish the gender ratio was more balanced. I apologize in advance if the next statement sounds objectifying, but talking to a woman in a situation where their gender is in the minority feels like straining a scarce resource, and that feels uncomfortable. I very much prefer existing in my abundance mindset (like I could on my summer workation to Greece that was 70% women).

Overall, TREEWEEK was surely a week well spent. It was an opportunity to connect and reconnect, an opportunity to be in a different environment for a few days, to experience what co-living means, and opening your mind to new things and ideas. I saw awesome people with amazing ideas and hobbies and projects. The good part of this is the inspiration, the slightly sadder part is seeing all the things you could be but aren’t, since, as they say, “you can be anything but not everything”.

As my train slowly approaches the more familiar territory that I call home, I will bring this post to an end, send you “many blessings” and hope we’ll meet again at another camp!