TREEWEEK THREE is already more than a month in the past, and I haven’t written about my experiences while the memories were still fresh. However, maybe writing about the retreat after a few weeks have gone by is also an interesting way to see what stuck with me. So let’s get into it.

I already wrote about TREEWEEK on its second day because I had mixed feelings. At that point, I was unsure what the rest of the week would do for me. In many ways, the week continued the way it had started, and similarly to the previous two years.

This year, however, I spent more time in the kitchen. I had been assigned one of the longer afternoon dinner preparation shifts, and I volunteered to cover a lunch shift as well. This also gave me some more time to connect with my brother-in-name Lukas, who’s Simon’s brother (Simon is the organizer of TREEWEEK). The dinner shift wasn’t actually that busy, so we already prepared 60 bell peppers for the next day. The lunch shift was especially enjoyable because after I announced that I’m more of a baker than a cook, I learned that we’re about to make Kaiserschmarrn, a sweet baked dish originating from Austria. Our first task was to crack and separate 75 eggs. There is something extremely satisfying in working with such enormous quantities of food, giant pots, and professional kitchen equipment. Seeing 50 people wait for what you’ve made is a responsibility, but it’s also wonderful to then see everybody eating.

The setup of the “TREEWEEK campus” changed from the previous years. The sauna house, which was a “boys dorm” before, has become a “girls dorm.” For me, it meant I got to sleep in a proper hotel room shared with only two roommates instead of 15. The effect of the room size, however, was minor compared to the location effect. Instead of being in a different building, my room was practically next to the kitchen. I believe that this caused me to spend less time outdoors and more time indoors during the week. It was also the first time I had gone to the second floor of the building, where one day a party was happening in a so-called secret location.

Jam sessions were yet again another highlight. I just love playing music together with other people. In the weeks after TREEWEEK I did it more often with people locally, and that may just be a happy coincidence. The old accordion at the event is somewhat out of tune, but I managed to play it in such a way that people appreciated it. I also played piano, of course, and dabbled with percussion and synthesizers.

The talent night was super cool, but it felt different. It had fewer musical acts and more spoken word and comedy (which felt weird, considering the previously high jam activity). I had told people about the event “Words of the World” that I’m running (see my yearly review), and apparently that inspired them: we had a few poetry readings in different languages.

On the side of games, we did play Werewolf (including one game not hosted by me that can only be described as speed werewolf), Werebeasts, and Codesnames, as in the previous years, but also someone had brought Captain Sonar, which I hadn’t played in a while. It was fun to play that again.

Somewhat related to games, we did a few rounds of two-by-two, where people have to rank themselves among two axes and basically place themselves in one of four quadrants. We did it on a whiteboard first and then on the floor. It’s an interesting way to get to know people. Of course, a game like this always includes some “spicy” questions, which led to one of the participants identifying herself as asexual. Immediately after the game I went to her and told her about my journey of questioning whether I’m asexual or not. I think we had a good conversation, and it felt like an opportunity to bond. For the rest of the week, though, I kept watching from the sidelines as she and another guy increasingly got closer to each other. And I noticed my usual reaction to it: as soon as I sense two people bonding in ways that could be considered romantic, my mind goes, “This is a canon event; must not interfere.” I feel the need to go out of my way to make it clear that I have no interest in the woman, regardless of actual feelings (not implying I was interested in this case; I’m talking generally).

In terms of conversations, I had a few excellent ones. I don’t think any of them was transformative in the literal sense that they changed who I am or how I think about certain things today. Still, they were special enough to fulfill the expectation of something that went beyond previous years. First, I was approached a few times by a woman with whom I have full TPOT event history (meaning we were both at the same Jesscamps and TREEWEEKs) but never interacted as much as we did during this week, especially not one-on-one. The content of these conversations was not as noteworthy for me as the feeling of “being seen,” especially by a person who I’ve also at times felt slightly intimidated by.

“Being seen” … I like that expression. I think this covers the other conversations I wanted to mention as well, and it might be the two words that best summarize my TREEWEEK experience. During breakfast I was drawn into a conversation. I don’t remember how it started, but it gave me the opportunity to share a lot about myself, including things I don’t think I’ve ever said to anyone else. Events like this create a safe space where it feels good to share. Everybody at the table was really appreciative and supportive. I also got the insight that apparently people don’t know or notice enough about me to find common topics, which makes it harder to strike up conversations (again, read my yearly review; it shows a lot of the things I do and care about).

Another conversation with even more depth happened on one of the later days on the front porch at night. It included a man whom I’ve also met at previous events but who felt we haven’t really interacted much, which he wanted to change. I shared about some of my insecurities around being accepted as I am or just for the vibes, without doing something with tangible benefit for others. We also spoke about my difficulties with feeling negative emotions such as anger or hate towards other people. I got a few interesting insights and suggestions on dealing with it, but most of all, I received gratitude for my openness and even just my presence with them: “being seen.”

After the event I shared my admonymous profile and received a lot of written feedback similar to what I’ve heard in these conversations, which is a good basis for some self-reflection and self-improvement.

Another realization I had was that I was one of the older, probably the oldest, participants. The man I mentioned before in the third conversation is almost my age, and we talked about us being the elders here. We were happy that the community has no problem attracting younger people (we had literal 18-year-olds in attendance), while also wondering how many years it would still be the right environment for us.

One final observation that I wanted to share is that it felt less of a “Twitter event” or an offline gathering of the chronically online. There was, at least in the conversations I was in, very little talk about what people post online or about memes and slang. It felt more like like-minded people coming together and talking about their real-life experiences. It probably makes sense; TPOT was a pandemic phenomenon. But lockdowns are becoming a more distant experience, real-life communities have formed out of online friends, and people simply spend less time interacting online or have more interesting things going on.

I had an important work video call on the morning of the last day of TREEWEEK, which meant I wasn’t part of the huge goodbyes (said mine before, though) and missed the bus journey school trip vibes. On the flip side, I got the experience of being in the empty venue with everybody gone and winding down together with the organizer team. Simon dropped me at the train station later that day.

I had plans in Berlin on the next day, so I didn’t have much time to process the week disconnected from the experience of the next day. I felt exhausted coming back and still had to get back to work as soon as possible. Still, I came home with good feelings about the week. Shortly after returning from Berlin, there was a concert happening at the community space next to my office. I shared a short video of it with the TREEWEEK Telegram group, feeling the need to connect my local experience with my friends from the retreat.

Simon, meanwhile, has already set dates for TREEWEEK FOUR. I guess I’ll be there again.